docs(functions): standardize all function doc blocks to UNIX man-page style

Replace all ad-hoc inline comments between license headers and function
declarations with consistent SYNOPSIS / DESCRIPTION / ARGUMENTS / RETURNS /
EXAMPLE blocks across all 99 project-owned functions/ files. No executable
logic, variable names, or exit codes were modified.

Completes Task #6 from AGENTS.md (Retroactive Function Documentation
Standardization).

functions/ports.fish

@@ -1,7 +1,15 @@
 # Copyright (C) 2026 Rootiest
 # SPDX-License-Identifier: AGPL-3.0-or-later
 
-# Show active network listeners
+# SYNOPSIS
+#   ports
+#
+# DESCRIPTION
+#   Lists all active TCP listeners on the system using lsof, showing
+#   port numbers and addresses without hostname resolution.
+#
+# EXAMPLE
+#   ports
 function ports --wraps='sudo' --description 'Show active network listeners'
     sudo lsof -iTCP -sTCP:LISTEN -P -n
 end